Zedoary and Zinc Oxide
by Lady Alice Kyteler
Summary: An entry for the WIKTT April Fool's Challenge. Snape and Hermione reminisce over a boiling cauldron...


Zedoary and Zinc Oxide by Lady Alice Kyteler

An entry in the WIKTT April Fools' Challenge

I thought I'd include as many "X" and "Z" words as possible, just for a laugh. There's a glossary at the end of some of the less familiar ones!

"Eighty xu an ounce!" exclaimed Hermione, taking the small paper-wrapped package from her husband. He watched her in Zen-like silence as she unwrapped it and carefully added the fragrant, gingery powder to the cauldron which bubbled quietly over a low flame.

"I know it's a lot, my love, but Vietnamese zedoary is the very best there is. I would use nothing less for a potion as important as this," he said at last, slipping out of his heavy robes and taking her in his arms with the eagerness of a zealot. Since the final downfall of Voldemort, Professor Snape had developed a new zest for life, which was further enhanced by his passionate love for his young assistant, Hermione Granger. He laughed now, as he remembered the exact moment when he realised that his feelings for her were reciprocated.

"Do you remember?" he asked, as they settled down together on the large settee in front of the fire, letting the potion simmer gently, "That damn xo-anon zonked me on the head and I was quite stunned…then I opened my eyes and there you were, performing an X-ray charm to check for skull fractures."

"Those students and their April Fools' pranks!" giggled Hermione, "Even the infamous Weasley twins would never have thrown a heavy wooden statue at their hated Potion Master's head," she teased, gently; Severus had "loosened up" considerably, to quote the older students who remembered his foul temper from the days of Voldemort. Many of his students would admit to being quite fond of him now.

"I'm glad the Levitation Charm didn't work," he whispered now, "Without that primitive deity nearly braining me, I may never have realised how you felt about me…We have had so many happy times together, haven't we?"

"Remember the wedding?" giggled Hermione again, "Albus playing the zither while everyone danced…Sybil Trelawney's frightful robes - she looked like a giant zebra…Harry and Ginny sliding about in spilled zabaglione…And the day, not long after, when we found out I was pregnant."

"That moment, when we knew that tiny zygote would grow to full term…at that moment I felt I had reached the very zenith of happiness…But you weren't so happy eight months later, were you?" he teased in his turn.

"Euggh!" she agreed, "Breasts like a pair of Zeppelins and xeroderma all over my enormous stomach…Your Magical Moisturising Mixture soon cleared that up. But the hormones turned me into a real Xanthippe. I was a total bitch to you."

"That ended the day he was born. April 1st. There he was at last, Zachary Snape, our very own little April Fool. I can't believe he's three months old already."

"And if I'm not mistaken, that's him waking up now. Demanding little brat!" said Hermione as she went to pick him up, the true love behind her dismissive words betrayed by the broad smile that spread across her face, "Can you finish that potion off?" she called over her shoulder, gesturing at the still-bubbling cauldron, "And don't forget to add the zinc oxide. It's the most important ingredient in a nappy-rash cream!"

Glossary

Xua monetary unit of Vietnam

Zedoary an Indian plant, allied to turmeric, the rhizome of which is used in medicine

Xo-anona primitive wooden image of a deity, often said to have fallen from heaven (spelt without the hyphen, but spell-checker hates it)

Zithera German stringed instrument

Zabaglionean Italian dessert made from whipped egg yolks, sugar and wine

Zygotea cell formed by the union of two gametes

Zeniththe highest point

Xerodermaextreme dryness of the skin

Xanthippea shrewish or ill-tempered woman; Socrates' wife

Zinc Oxidea powder used as a white pigment and in medicinal ointments

Note to American readers: "nappy-rash" = "diaper rash"! 


End file.
